Off-Topic Tuesday: 5 Little Moments of Inspiration

Some of us are more fortunate than others. Some of us are born with money, good looks, parents that love each other and eternal good luck. And then some of us are dropped into this world with no pot to piss in, no foreseeable future or opportunities, and perhaps even a hereditary ailment or three. I’d like to think of myself as Mr. Somewhere-in-between. I’ve been blessed with certain gifts and circumstances, but I’ve also had my fair share misfortune. I am your average Joe in a sense.

With Thanksgiving in the rear view and Christmahannukwanzaa ahead, I’d like us all to remember what we have, and how much worse it could be. I’d like to point out some instances in my life that have been very positive and influential. I’ve remembered these moments with vivid detail and I’d like to share them with you. I’m sure you all have similar strengths to draw upon when times have been tough. These are some of mine:

1. January, 1994.

I was mid-way through the eighth grade at Junior High School 141 in Queens. High School was on the horizon. At the time, J.H.S. 141 had allowed students to attend an extra year for the 9th grade if they wanted. This was an option most students (and/or parents) chose because of the proximity to their homes, and the familiarity of the surroundings and existing friends. I was part of a small group of kids that took a placement exam for the New York City Specialized High Schools. These three schools included Stuyvesant High School, Bronx High School of Science and Brooklyn Technical High School; some of the most prestigious high schools in the city.  Although I was generally allergic to homework and avoided it like the plague, I was always a fairly bright kid and managed to ace the exam. This of course was great news for my father, who always stressed education with an iron fist. Not-so-great news for me, as it meant drastic change, and more importantly leaving all my friends behind. I was pretty bummed out to say the least.

One day after school, I was venting my pain to my friend Effie. I told her how devastated I was and how it wasn’t fair and how parents don’t understand, blah blah blah. She looked at me with a straight face and said, “You can’t regret the things you’ve done in your life… only the things you haven’t done.” Meaning, I could have stayed with everyone else and went to the local high school eventually, but I would have never known what could have been.

And she was right. I ended up going to Brooklyn Tech, and although I hated the change and commute the first year, I ended up loving it slowly. Aside from the rigorous education that i was exposed to, my later years at Tech were among the most memorable in my life. The experience primed me for something greater; for the next step, with extra ammunition.

I still think about Effie and what she said to me till this day, and likely until my last day. I am still in awe of how profound and level-headed she was as a 14-year old.

2. December, 1996.

It was my junior year in High School and I was comfortably acclimated. One of my favorite classes that year was Physics. According to popular opinion, most kids hate physics but I loved it. Of course it helped that my class was fortunate enough to have the best physics teacher in the world. Mr. Smollen was like the Peter Pan of public school teachers. Every lesson was accompanied by an hands-on experiment or a journey into another dimension. I distinctly remember him giving us an early example of velocity: “Class, if I’m an airplane…” (raised his arms strait out and turned 90 degrees towards the door) “… and I’m flying at 100 meters per second, going south west…” (proceeded to walk towards the door) “…and i weigh 100 tons…” (stopped and turned only his head 90 degrees towards the class) “…What is the combined vector quantity that is keeping me in the air when we account for gravity?”

This was the atmosphere that made learning fun, but it was the first law of Sir Isaac Newton that really stuck with me: “Every body remains in a state of rest or uniform motion (constant velocity) unless it is acted upon by an external unbalanced force. This means that in the absence of a non-zero net force, the center of mass of a body either remains at rest, or moves at a constant speed in a straight line.” What this means in English, is that stuff stays still unless it is moved by something, OR stuff keeps moving unless other stuff slows it down.

I was always intrigued by this law as it applies to science, but in recent years I’ve examined it metaphorically. The “stuff” could be us. Me, you, whoever. Unless something moves us, we’ll do nothing, accomplish nothing. In which case, something needs to move us. If we’re already moving, there’s always stuff trying to slow us down. “Moving” is whatever your path to your goals is. The friction from external forces slowing us down comes in the form of setbacks. Setbacks can include the loss of a job, a sickness, or whatever you feel is holding you back from reaching your potential, or that constant state of motion. The trick is to keep moving and push through that friction.

3. February, 1999.

High School had come and gone. Puberty was well behind me. I had an air of confidence that only a healthy 18 year old male could have. But I was now in the Architecture school at Pratt Institute in Brooklyn. I was socially starting over again. I had one friend from High School when I got there. It’s not that making new ones was difficult. It really wasn’t. The kids were a lot friendlier and more approachable than high school kids were. The difference was how I related to them. Because Pratt is a prestigious (and relatively expensive) Art/Architecture school, students come from all over the world to study. Students from all walks of life, color and creed. I was not prepared for the culture shock that was my freshman year. I was still in Brooklyn but I told myself missed New Yorkers. I missed the New York mentality and talk. I couldn’t relate to the kids from the south, the mid west and Europe, so I distanced myself from them. This of course affected my studies and my general mood towards the School and my area of study.

In my second semester, I had become closer with some guys in my dorm who I was drawn to because we shared some common interests. And we were all generally from the same area (The Northeast). We all liked basketball, hip-hop and graffiti and spent our free time together involved in these interests. I began to feel a camaraderie with this handful of guys similar to the kids I grew up with on the block. One of us was a talented hip-hop DJ who would mesmerize us with his turntable wizardry. Brad would make mix-tapes (as in cassettes) and sell them for 5 bucks a pop. Although he introduced me to a variety of small, underground artists, I liked him most because he was a fan of Gang Starr. This was a Brooklyn-based group I had listened to since I was eleven, so it was reassuring to know that my friend Brad had good taste. After all, Brad was from Connecticut.

One evening in the winter, a few of us had assembled in Brad’s room for shooting the breeze and listening to some fresh beats. I noticed that it was significantly colder in Brad’s room than in any of the other rooms. I noticed that he had covered the heat vent with cardboard and duct tape. When I asked him why, as I rubbed my hands together, he replied, “…because you’re more creative when you’re slightly uncomfortable.”

I thought about it for a moment and the concept because instantly clear to me. The first cousin of this phrase would be “Necessity is the mother of invention.” Some of the world’s greatest accomplishments have been realized through some kind of stress, time constraint or hardship. But this notion of self induced stress was revolutionary to me. (Partly because I loathe the cold in my own nest) This ideology is no different than enduring the unpleasantness and rigor of a difficult training program in order to become a body builder or a boxer. In the army, they tell you that pain is your friend. It lets you know you’re still alive.

4. January, 2005.

Still licking my wounds from a breakup, I sat in bed unshaven and wallowing in self pity. You know, the kind of paralysis that inhibits even the changing of a channel. I must have watched TBS for 5 hours straight that day. There were nothing but romantic comedies and bad science fiction movies playing. The romantic comedies just made me want to cry more and the sci-fi was just bad. But then, at the 6th hour, Conan The Barbarian (1982) came on. Conan is the story of a young boy who grows up and seeks to avenge the murder of his parents by an evil warlord (played by James Earl Jones). Before the opening credits, a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche faded onto the screen. “That which does not kill us makes us stronger”. Seeing that with this score in the background was enough to elevate my heart rate enough to get out of bed and shower. It also marked the day I started believing in that idea. No matter how hurt I am, physically or emotionally, I repeat this phrase while playing the same background music in my head. It gives me great comfort in knowing that better days lay ahead. The pain is a rite of passage.

5. November, 2008.

I had been unemployed for several months and I was feeling pretty down and out. The economy had just tanked and I was beyond broke. A construction company had agreed to see me about an administrative position that would start the following February. I was relieved but intimidated by the size of the company. I had only worked for small mom & pop operations prior to this with no more than 5 employees including the owner. This company had 30 people in the office and an eye for growth. The anxiety seemed daunting but I knew I needed to take the job for the money and the experience. And who knew? I might like it. When I went in for my interview I was pleasantly surprised at the level of professionalism with which I was greeted. The offices were well lit and adequately furnished, and the people seemed well spoken. You might be saying to yourself, “Yea, that’s pretty standard stuff, so what?” Well, I can tell you I’ve worked for a number of contractors since High School, and the experiences and conditions were never pleasant.

The night I got home from the interview, I went to Othello’s Deli on 24th Avenue to pick up a sandwich. As I was waiting for the clerk to give me my change, I noticed a poster they had up on the wall behind the counter. It was a picture of 5 or 6 different colored pencils. The one in the middle had a broken tip, while the others were long and pointy. The tagline at the bottom said “Surround yourself with who you want to be”. It was cute in a school cafeteria sort of way but it made simple sense. Avoid the influences in your life that retard your advancement and gravitate towards the positive people and experiences that encourage it. It gave me the extra courage I needed to go through with my new job and made me feel like it was the right move. It was. As of today, I’m not with the company anymore but the lessons I learned there will follow me throughout life.

6. *Honorable Mention:

Any of the Rocky movies or any 80’s montage that still raises the hairs on the back on my neck. As cheesy as it sounds, don’t underestimate the power of cinema and music for inspiration and strength. Everyone has a favorite 80’s movie. What’s yours?

Have you noticed a trend? Most of these profound epiphanies tend to occur in the winter. I attribute this to the line of work my dad and I have been in for the last couple of decades. Construction is a difficult industry to be in during cold months. The gettin’ isn’t as good for obvious reasons and we’ve sometimes been faced with difficult situations. I suppose its during these times that the self pep talk is at its loudest in order to keep our heads up.

The way I see it, I, we, have three choices in life:

1) We can dwell on all of our bad luck and negativity for the rest of our lives; bringing down all those around us in our constant rant against humanity and all living things. We can also commit suicide.

2) We can choose to accept things as they are and be numb to everything. We can accept our mediocre, dead-end nine-to-five, and our cushy little cubicles. We can believe our potential has been met, and that only aristocracy has the power to change things. We can look forward to two-week vacations, Netflix deliveries, and dinner with the in-laws. We can choose to accept the status quo, even though we feel a sense that there’s something missing.

3) OR, we can choose to grab the bull by the horns and do something about our feelings. We can choose the road less-traveled and see where it leads us, even if the windshield is foggy. We can choose persistence and positivity over fear and defeat. We can choose to endure pain and hardship because we know it will lead to better things. We can choose to break out of our hardened cocoon of self-doubt, loathing and sickness. We can choose to truly live.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not getting any younger. Tis the season! Be fearless, my friends!